Stories with a touch of humour. These snippets include a backward-facing horse rider, a car on the wrong side of the road and how to protect vital assets. Read on and have a laugh.
"With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come" - William Shakespeare
"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." - Lord Byron
Eating a stolen chicken tastes better than any other:
"A very funny incident happened after movies one Saturday evening. We were all going out to 2nd Beach for the inevitable beach party. Clarry Gernetsky, an old bachelor, was invited as well. At this stage of the evening he was pretty loaded with gin. 'Nutty' de Villiers* [God rest his soul] and I decided we were going to raid Clarry's chicken coop, so off we went on my buzz bike and snicked a chicken. By the time we got to 2nd Beach, the fire was blazing in all its glory, so on with the bird. After being braaied, Neil Turner cut it up and handed it round. It was like the loaves and fishes. Anyway, Clarry got a drumstick, and as he ate he kept on saying, 'Its a damn fine bird'. Little did he know he was eating his own damn fine bird." (St John Macdonald)* Neville de Villiers, son of Hennie and Beth de Villiers. Hennie was Town Clerk for many years. They also had a daughter, Leslie.
The Magistrate fishes during court cases:
This is a well-known story about the magistrate who was a
keen fisherman and used to be rather distracted during court cases. The story is also typical of the laid-back,
relaxed lifestyle prevalent in the town, and how even court officials were
lured by the promise of a good catch!
“The courthouse near the river mouth was originally the Port Captain’s office. Then it was made into the magistrate’s office and the magistrate was put in charge of controlling goods going in and out of the harbour. In those days, the water was right up against the rocks below the magistrate’s office. The magistrate in question (and I must admit that I don’t know his name) was such an avid fisherman that when there was a good run of a particular type of fish, he would set up his rod and leave his court orderly to hold the rod waiting for a bite. When there was a good bite, the orderly would call up to the magistrate, who would promptly adjourn the hearing and rush outside to take over from the orderly and land his fish!” (Howard Daniel)
“The courthouse near the river mouth was originally the Port Captain’s office. Then it was made into the magistrate’s office and the magistrate was put in charge of controlling goods going in and out of the harbour. In those days, the water was right up against the rocks below the magistrate’s office. The magistrate in question (and I must admit that I don’t know his name) was such an avid fisherman that when there was a good run of a particular type of fish, he would set up his rod and leave his court orderly to hold the rod waiting for a bite. When there was a good bite, the orderly would call up to the magistrate, who would promptly adjourn the hearing and rush outside to take over from the orderly and land his fish!” (Howard Daniel)
The same story is retold by Jean Coulter in her book Remembering: The Life, The People and the
Places: 2001: pg 305)
“ … even the magistrate could fall into the ease of this idyllic life. The old court house was situated on a stony promontory that overlooked the river and wharf. It was said that fishing rods were thrown out into the river from the bank and when a fish was on the line, court was adjourned to enable the owner of the rod to play his catch. One wonders whether the prisoner’s sentence was affected by the luck of the angler.” (Jean Coulter)
“ … even the magistrate could fall into the ease of this idyllic life. The old court house was situated on a stony promontory that overlooked the river and wharf. It was said that fishing rods were thrown out into the river from the bank and when a fish was on the line, court was adjourned to enable the owner of the rod to play his catch. One wonders whether the prisoner’s sentence was affected by the luck of the angler.” (Jean Coulter)
William Clarke rides
his horse backwards to town:
“My uncle, William Daniel, had a shop on the western side of river beyond Tiger Flats at a place called Isinuka. The shop and the house were close to the road, with the shop being on one side, and the house on the other. Further up the river from Isinuka lived Gertie Clarke, whose Pondo name was “Nogqashu” meaning a loud, boisterous person. She never married, and ran the farm on her own. Her brother, William Clarke, also lived on a different farm further up the road.
One day Uncle Willie Daniel was in the Isinuka shop. He looked out and saw Willie Clarke riding past the shop on his horse - but he was sitting on the horse facing backwards! He was riding to town but was facing in the opposite direction! Uncle Willie called out to Willie Clarke: “Willie, what on you doing? Why on earth are you sitting backwards on your horse?” Willie Clarke shouted back “I am looking for that bloody son of your’s ..... Keith. The last time I rode past here, Keith hid in the hedge and after I had passed, he shot my horse in the rump with a pellet gun and the damn horse bucked me, so now I am making sure that I can see him. I'm looking to see that he is not hiding in the hedge and going to shoot my horse in the backside again!” (Howard Daniel)
“My uncle, William Daniel, had a shop on the western side of river beyond Tiger Flats at a place called Isinuka. The shop and the house were close to the road, with the shop being on one side, and the house on the other. Further up the river from Isinuka lived Gertie Clarke, whose Pondo name was “Nogqashu” meaning a loud, boisterous person. She never married, and ran the farm on her own. Her brother, William Clarke, also lived on a different farm further up the road.
One day Uncle Willie Daniel was in the Isinuka shop. He looked out and saw Willie Clarke riding past the shop on his horse - but he was sitting on the horse facing backwards! He was riding to town but was facing in the opposite direction! Uncle Willie called out to Willie Clarke: “Willie, what on you doing? Why on earth are you sitting backwards on your horse?” Willie Clarke shouted back “I am looking for that bloody son of your’s ..... Keith. The last time I rode past here, Keith hid in the hedge and after I had passed, he shot my horse in the rump with a pellet gun and the damn horse bucked me, so now I am making sure that I can see him. I'm looking to see that he is not hiding in the hedge and going to shoot my horse in the backside again!” (Howard Daniel)
Don McKay has Port St Johns
gravel embedded in his body:
Port St Johns
has an impact on people who visit or live there. The soaring cliffs, dense forests, wild sea
and the alternately languid and ferocious ‘Vubu have a way of getting into
one’s heart and soul. Live there for a
lifetime, or visit for a holiday, and one carries Port St Johns with one with
the rest of one’s days. For one
travelling Rep, this was true - in more
ways than one ….
Tomorrow never comes ….
“There was a Mr Engelbrecht who was the owner of the Tea
Room on the piece of land just beyond the pont, opposite Captain Stokes’s house
near to where the dipping tank was. His
name was Mafundikela, meaning a big
noise because he spoke very loudly. The
shop and Tea Room was an octagonal building.
His little shop had flaps that opened out and I remember that it had a
sign written up there saying, ‘Today for
Money, Tomorrow Free”. I was a kid
and went there with a penny and bought some sweets. The next day I went back and asked for the
free sweets but he said ‘No, no, no, tomorrow free, not today”. I was so cross about this so I went around
the back, got some stones and threw them on his roof. It was an asbestos roof, and I know I made
some holes in the roof of his storeroom!”
(Desmond Daniel)
(Desmond Daniel)
A shocking greeting:
“Here’s another story Mafundikela, also known as Oom Bakkies Engelbrecht. My dad, Sam, when he was running the old
trading shop at Undercliff, had a brass bar or rod along the counter. It was connected to a portable battery and it could
be turned on to keep the customers back if they were leaning too far over the
counter. I was in the shop one day when Dad played a
joke on Oom Bakkies. This is how it
happened ...... Oom Bakkies came strolling into
the shop, shouted out a greeting in his loud voice, “Hello Sam!” and put his hand out to
shake Dad’s hand. Dad put the electic
bar on, put his left hand on the bar and stretched out his other hand to shake hands with
Oom Bakkies. The instant he took Dad’s
hand, Oom Bakkies started shouting out ‘Oh, wow, hey Sam!! What are you doing Sam? Hey, Sam! What you doing to me Sam? What the hell you doing to me, Sam?’ He was hanging onto Dad with the electric
shocks going through him and through Dad, jerking from the shocks and shouting
at the top of his voice.” (Howard Daniel)
Taking precautions with vital parts of the anatomy:
“Uncle Cecil had some fish kraals and employed a couple
of black guys who, at low tide, would strip and go into the river to scoop out the fish. There was one guy who was rather ‘well
endowed’, if I put it that way, and I remember seeing him strip, naked, except
for his belt and he would tuck the inyoka*
up under the belt! I saw this so I asked
him why he tucked it up under his belt. He said, ‘So that the fish don’t bite it’ ..... That’s a true story!" (Howard Daniel) (*inyoka
- snake)
Avoiding a reversing car on the wrong side of the road:
The narrow roads winding down to Port St Johns were the setting for a number of close encounters, near accidents and close shaves. Drivers setting out on the roads to Lusikisiki or Umtata (now Mthatha) had to have their wits about them to cope with the unexpected around one of the many bends in the road. This story involves a humourous encounter Frank Daniel had with a confused driver on the road between Port St Johns and Umtata. The story is told by Frank Daniel's nephew, Dudley Daniel, son of Frank's brother William.
“Uncle Frank Daniel began trading at Ntile Store and then moved to Lusikisiki, where, on a full time basis, he recruited labour for various sugar estates in Natal. On retiring he moved to Port St Johns. Uncle Frank, like most of his brothers, was a kind and generous man with a great sense of humour.
I remember him popping in at home once on his way back from Umtata and telling us about a near accident that he had had. A local gentleman had come around a blind corner, in reverse, on the wrong side of the road, travelling as fast as he could go in that gear and almost crashed into Uncle Frank, who only just managed to avoid the gentleman, (probably because of years of experience on those bad Transkei roads). When he questioned the gentleman, the reply was that, as his car had jammed in reverse gear and had been for some time, he had recently only been able to travel in reverse and, even though he was reversing, he had to stick to the left hand side of the way that his car was facing. Uncle Frank could not convince him otherwise and found this very amusing.” (Dudley Daniel)
If you have any amusing stories or anecdotes, please comment or send them to my email address at the top of the page for inclusion in the collection.
Avoiding a reversing car on the wrong side of the road:
The narrow roads winding down to Port St Johns were the setting for a number of close encounters, near accidents and close shaves. Drivers setting out on the roads to Lusikisiki or Umtata (now Mthatha) had to have their wits about them to cope with the unexpected around one of the many bends in the road. This story involves a humourous encounter Frank Daniel had with a confused driver on the road between Port St Johns and Umtata. The story is told by Frank Daniel's nephew, Dudley Daniel, son of Frank's brother William.
“Uncle Frank Daniel began trading at Ntile Store and then moved to Lusikisiki, where, on a full time basis, he recruited labour for various sugar estates in Natal. On retiring he moved to Port St Johns. Uncle Frank, like most of his brothers, was a kind and generous man with a great sense of humour.
I remember him popping in at home once on his way back from Umtata and telling us about a near accident that he had had. A local gentleman had come around a blind corner, in reverse, on the wrong side of the road, travelling as fast as he could go in that gear and almost crashed into Uncle Frank, who only just managed to avoid the gentleman, (probably because of years of experience on those bad Transkei roads). When he questioned the gentleman, the reply was that, as his car had jammed in reverse gear and had been for some time, he had recently only been able to travel in reverse and, even though he was reversing, he had to stick to the left hand side of the way that his car was facing. Uncle Frank could not convince him otherwise and found this very amusing.” (Dudley Daniel)
If you have any amusing stories or anecdotes, please comment or send them to my email address at the top of the page for inclusion in the collection.
No comments:
Post a Comment